Love is not a feeling; it’s an act of your will. –Don Francisco
I love being a woman.
I consider it one of the (if not THE) most important positions on earth, because I understand what it means to be one.
I didn’t always. I used to think men had a better (easier) life, but I was a child and did not understand womanhood. I outgrew that; I began to understand.
There are many women, today, who have never outgrown it.
Their parents have failed them. Probably others have failed them too. Abused or neglected, they never have come to any understanding of womanhood, what it is, what it means for them and for all humankind. Not having been loved or cherished, they do not love or cherish who they are, what they are. In fact, they hate womanhood so much and their part in it, that they make themselves ugly and abhorable. They become manlike and adopt warlike attitudes of terrorizing and fighting. Yes, they are so full of self-hate, yet they look for someone else to blame. They attack so compulsively that their hatred and fury extends to even the elderly, murdering the elderly. It is so sad.
And it is so unnecessary.
I wish I could make them understand that being a woman is a good thing.
But being also the wounded, frightened children that they are, that this current culture has made them, they do not and cannot understand this goodness.
How it grieves me that the beauty of what they are is lost to them.
They are like broken radios that get no good reception, so broadcast only garbled static.
Like broken eggs, they leave behind only messes and rot.
Like broken tires, they lose their usefulness and must be repaired or replaced, because to give them credibility only makes them worse, makes them irreparable.
A whole woman, who has been cherished rather than spoiled, trained rather than abused, accepted rather than ridiculed, sheltered rather than thrust out to sink or swim, will think better of it when tempted to throw herself away.
Remember—I didn’t much like being a girl, either. I get that.
But I learned something that unraveled the whole ugly knot for me, and I hope will, for you, too.
And here, I must insert my heart cry. I wish with all my heart I could open this truth to them, to the hurting ones who think the solution to their pain will come if they hurt others. But I’m pretty sure that is not my job. I’m pretty sure I’m not one they would listen to. On the other hand, though, I feel sure that some of you out there are ready for this and longing for it and will recognize it for the truth. I write this for you:
A little girl’s understanding is not enough.
Long ago, growing up in a God-centered atmosphere, I knew that God is my Father and Jesus is the most important person in life. I mean, I still believe if you can only know the NAME of Jesus, you almost don’t need much else.
Lately He’s been showing me that although from my viewpoint, I should love Jesus, above all, that is not His exact viewpoint. Yes, we should live our lives as if it’s all about Him. That’s right, but why?
Because He lived, and still lives, His life as if it’s all about His Bride.
Yes the heavenly husband is completely taken with His Bride.
Okay, that sounds good, right? Because it’s so—VBS—or something?
So why is this modern, educated, gal, who once took umbrage at these ideas, now spouting them?
Because having waded in these waters for almost a lifetime, I one day decided it is safe to jump right in.
Because at the bottom of the deep end of the pool, I found gold.
Because although I’m not a great “swimmer”, I’m drawing treasure up from the depths that: Is. So. Good.
Because this treasure is so good it makes me forget to breathe.
It makes tears in my eyes.
It makes me stop, lost in thought, and smile a mysterious smile.
It makes being a woman so good, I never want to be anything else, ever again.
And by “woman” I mean the full-blown, classical, true image of pure womanhood.
(NO! Not the stinky stereotypes! I’m throwing those badboys out on their ears!) Please!
Let’s look at this love we received, though. I know some of us do not feel loved, do not live where love is practiced as it should be. I know humans fail and half of all humans are men, so probably men fail. Okay.
But let’s look at the Bible. If it’s not there, it’s not truth, right?
From almost day-one, God has shown what He thought of women. Adam is having a great time enjoying all the beauty around him and suddenly God says this shocking thing: Something is NOT GOOD! Whoa. No woman = not good. Not good that the new human be a single entity.
And then Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, and although it was even Eve’s idea. God places the blame on Adam. What gives?
Sarah obeys her husband, who’s told her to do something mortally wrong, and God gets her way out of her scrapes, and places the blame squarely on Abraham. Yet, when Sarah tells Abraham what to do and he does it—the blame falls again, straight down on Abraham.
Why did He die? Because we sinned? To pay for that? To buy us back? Yes that and much more.
Yet it was not good that man should be alone, but it was not for loneliness’s sake. He created male and female versions of all the animals, but the man He made a single entity, with the woman within the man. Why? What is He showing? What is He trying to tease out of us? Why did He bother, at all?
Because He is love. It’s His big deal, what He’s all about. He makes, shows, teaches, and gives love. He invented love. He is absolutely and T-totally given up to love. It is what He is—Love. Nothing else.
How does He go about showing, being love?
First, He sets us up. We have spouses, children, parents that we love. Or loved.
He makes love an integral part of our lives. We understand love. And we love.
Perhaps we wasted love or lost love or have forgotten how to love.
But we comprehend love.
And because we know love, it is possible for us to resist it, escape it, avoid it, and deliberately starve it.
So, do we punish love?—I think so. Because love is far more than a feeling. Yes, and love, I have discovered, is far more than an action.
Love is a person.
God is love.
And we align with His enemy.
And that is an act of the will.