Lots of people enter into marriage. And lots of people choose to leave this bond.
I think the choices are sometimes confusing because many do not even know what on earth marriage is. They imagine some vain, silly thing or they fantasize about the marriage night without thinking of the next day.
Yeah, they fail to realize it’s a long walk in the same direction.
So I want to talk about what marriage is and why you should go there.
First, marriage is good. It is important to know that.
It also is important to note that I did not say marriage is for everyone.
Even the Bible, which pushes marriage a lot (because it is good) does not claim that marriage is for everyone—
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Corinthians 7:8-10
Marriage is kind of like chocolate; we all know it is good, but it’s not for everyone, does not do much for everyone.
Those people should not eat chocolate.
In the same way, if marriage is not for you, you should not do marriage. Marrying and divorcing over and over, is the same as beginning to eat chocolate, spitting it out, and complaining. A waste and an insult to those who love it!
How childish! Just stay out of my chocolate, thank you.
But, what’s so good about marriage?
Well, it makes for an easier life.
Yep. Marriage, done right, is the way to an easier life, just as chocolate, in an éclair, is the bomb.
Oh, you’ve been sampling chocolate without carbs and cream? Wow. No wonder.
The easier life comes when you and your spouse are a great team. You cook; he eats. Ha!
Seriously, he provides food, and you cook. Yeah. Makes sense, as does his bringing home money and your taking care of making sure he has toilet paper. Matter of fact, when two walk together and one falls, the other can lift him up.
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Ever cry on his shoulder?
Ever stay up late to make sure he has a shirt for tomorrow’s huge meeting?
And in case you think it’s not easier to split chores, just imagine if YOU had to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and iron your own shirt while worrying about the huge meeting tomorrow…see? Easier. Yep.
Next comes the children. Assuming you have children, having a dad for them is totally important. In fact, it’s so important, it’s worth overlooking his tendency to drop his socks where he falls asleep. In fact, it’s so important, it’s worth cooking for him. Even (gasp!) ironing for him…
Why is it so important?
Because: girls tend to marry the guys who remind them of their dads, and guys tend to copy their dads as they grow up. Maybe not in choice of profession, but in attitude and method applied to whatever profession they choose.
I know. That is scary. The important thing to realize is that it is true.
And without a dad, your girls will not know what to look for and your guys will not know what to be. Just saying.
Not only that, but one more thing: Stable marriages build stable societies. Think about it….
If everyone has no idea what to become or what to look for in a spouse, what do we get? (Just look around you for the answer to that.) Our society is broken—I hope, not beyond repair—because we have experimented with the validity of marriage. And that is the truth, so don’t argue.
And last, but definitely NOT least, marriage is mandated in the Word of our God. Now, you may not have “given Him permission” to BE your God, but He has not taken that very seriously, Himself. He IS. He made that clear, and He wants to let you in on it, but He will not force you. Still, He is the only true God and He is totally willing to help you make your marriage work, if you are open to the idea….
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her aleady in his heart. Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matthew 5:32
The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. John 4: 17-18
Furthermore, marriage is foundational to the entire experience of our God. He made sure it was easy to tell this by stating it clearly in His Word, many times.
The most clear statement of His intent is here:
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5: 22-24
And for some reason, I think it’s not too much of a stretch for you to realize the new believers are the children in this union between Christ and his Bride…
And therefore, it is no surprise that if a marriage is working, we find corresponding felicity in body, soul, and spirit of all its members. The dad lives longer, is excited to return home and see what amazing food is cooking, to be blessed by loving children acting delighted at his feet, and to ease himself into whatever Cheerious-free room his wife has designated safe for his enjoyment. Haha!
Mom is sheltered in place in this violent world, drawing her strength and purpose from the precious lives growing up around her, and delighting in their progress.
Children grow up strong and bold, learning how to be brave members of a future society, and learning trust and love in their soft nest.
But when marriage has been forgone or has been allowed to die and rot, we find Dad maybe not even coming home right away, but “needing” a stiff belt or two, dinner totally not ready because Mom has not been home today, feeling unsatisfied with his earnings and taking it upon herself to earn more (in money, only, not in satisfaction) and the children unruly and rebellious, due to no parental influence.
Believe me, Dad will stray, and the children will grow into more and more violence and even gender confusion.
And that, my dear woman, is why we do this.
And if that’s not for you, just turn the page, Sister, and stay out of my chocolate. And I will pray for you.