Are You Awake Like This Lady?

Homeschooler challenging The Leaning Tower of ...I have permission to use a recent inspiring fb post from a brand new homeschooling mom, here. She’s asked that I change her name, and I am happy to provide her that security because I am so happy to share this sweet content with my readers!

See if you haven’t felt this way before:

I just had a moment, a very weird, sort of life changing moment.

I can’t think of anyone who would understand this moment better than you, my fellow homeschoolers.

Everything in my brain just sort of changed. I keep saying, “I’m homeschooling,” and, “I’m homeschooling because (insert many reasons here.)”

But as much as I’ve been saying it, I haven’t really believed it.

I’m not sure that even makes sense?

We’ve been schooling now for two weeks. It’s been different and it’s been somewhat difficult to adjust to, coming out of public school.

Just now, for no real reason at all, everything just clicked and I realized: “Holy cow—we are actually doing this.”

We are not talking about it anymore. We are not planning it anymore.

We are actually doing it, and I’m suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of such intense purpose I can hardly stand it.

I suddenly understand my role as a mother. I have this mission, this purpose with my children that I’ve never really felt before. I’m not just feeding them, or cleaning up after them. I’m training them, and I’m serving God in doing so.

I can’t even explain how full my heart is right now.

It’s not to say that I didn’t feel like a good mother before, but I can see a purpose to my motherhood, a purpose for our family. I don’t have anybody telling me my purpose or theirs.

The only guidelines I have for my family are God’s.

Nobody is telling me what my five-year-old should be doing, or how my eleven-year-old should be thinking or behaving. Nobody is calling me to tell me my seven-year-old son needs special help with his learning disabilities. Nobody is showing me what I’m doing wrong.

I never realized how rare that is.

All I have are six little children telling me how much they love me. I have a seven-year-old son who isn’t worried about his dyslexia; instead, he’s outside at 10 p.m., playing ninjas in the dark with his sister in the yard—FREEDOM!!!

I know that every moment won’t be as inspiring as this moment I’m having right here, right now, but it’s nice to know that every moment has the potential to be. –Anne Barker

Did you love that or what? I wish I’d been so wise! I merely knew my kids needed to escape–needed rescuing–but this woman has a clear view of all her family is gaining. Blessings on you, Anne Barker, in your new endeavors, and thanks, so much, for so eloquently letting us see into the heart of your wisdom!


(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

7 thoughts on “Are You Awake Like This Lady?

  1. Jennifer A. Janes says:

    That was beautiful – and eloquently expressed! Best wishes to Anne and her family as they begin their homeschooling journey!

  2. katharinetrauger says:

    Hello, Jennifer! Did you not LOVE that essay? I felt it was so true and I felt as if I’d really missed capturing that awakening, so I asked her if she’d let me share it. I still feel overwhelmed by something I knew, but never expressed before. Loved it!

  3. faerylandmom says:

    I think that’s how I started out on our homeschooling journey. I just had this driving sense of purpose that I didn’t understand. I just knew that God wanted ME (of all people) to do it for my children. I had no idea why, and I did. not. want. to.

    I knew NONE of the arguments in favor. None of the common sense reasons. None of the scientific evidence that home schooled kids are awesome. I just knew that, for that particular time, in our particular family journey, it was what God was calling me to do against everything I wanted. He was calling me out of myself. It was strange to watch myself grow into a love for it–and a deeper love for my children. I had no idea that was possible. I woke up one day and realized that I *loved* home schooling. I *loved* being with my kids.

    I have learned so much more than they have, I’m sure.

    I was one who swore I didn’t have the patience for it, not realizing that children are God’s best tools for helping a mother learn patience…

    • katharinetrauger says:

      Wow, Tiff!
      I would believe that of you! You are the type that would “feel” the call to homeschool. I was the type that just could not bear the typos in the copywork my children were forced to copy, ANY MORE! Ha.
      Thanks for this lovely comment! You are raising better kids than you would have, I am sure. It is such a joy and such a privilege to raise children, and you have stepped into it in such an admirable way. 🙂

      • faerylandmom says:

        I don’t know that there’s much of anything admirable about the way I stepped in…lol! It wasn’t cheerful obedience, that’s for sure. It is truly by God’s amazing grace that I stand today, still home schooling these four human beings he gave me. 🙂

        • katharinetrauger says:

          Yet, I was harsh. The harsh ones admire the gentles. I was like flint. I should have known your alluring gentleness back then. Of course, you weren’t even married then…were you even born, yet, 45 years ago? I doubt it! Ha! 🙂

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