The Bible gives one big, perfect example of life as a wife, in the life of Abraham’s wife, Sarah. We find a pithy mention of her in 1 Peter 3:4-6, where it talks about the “inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”
The implication here is that we copy her.
Okay. She left her husband’s side and signed up for the Pharaoh’s harem, at Abraham’s recommendation. Not my idea of a great husbandly decision, at all!
But she did it and Yahweh intervened by speaking to the inventor of Ra worship. How’s that for ironic? Basically, when God finished warning Pharaoh, he was ejecting Sarah as fast as possible, in great fear of God.
And not much has changed. Except wives.
We got mixed up about 70 years ago.
When can we really say “no” and make it stick, no matter what, and be sure we are right?
When . . .
. . . he is trying to kill you or the kids. Although you have an “until death” covenant with him, if he is trying to kill you, he is trying to break that covenant. Time to skip out. Also, it would devastate the kids to lose you both, and you also have a covenant with them, to protect and raise them, since you brought their lives into being. The same is true for death threats and drug or alcohol abuse—take them totally seriously and protect yourself and your children immediately. (Today.) Just talking nuts and bolts, here, sheer logic; we assume you love your kids and/or life itself, like crazy.
. . . he has been unfaithful to you. God allows you to walk if husband has already walked, which is what unfaithfulness is. He calls it hard-heartedness, but let’s just say one wife is enough, and you are it, or else someone else is, but not both. And using pornography is unfaithfulness.
. . . he wants you to break the law. This is what Peter’s answer was all about in Acts 5:29. “We ought to obey God rather than man,” he told the Sanhedrin, a figurehead Jewish ruling body in Rome-occupied Israel.
Under Roman rule, Peter had freedom of speech.
The Sanhedrin had decided to take matters into their own hands and ignore the law. Since God requires submission to the governing authorities, robbing Peter of free speech, an illegal, insubordinate act, was displeasing to God.
Peter disobeyed their injunction to rob him of his legal rights. And he was right to do so.
No wonder the Sanhedrin filled with furious and murderous thoughts.
Unless he disqualifies himself in one of those three ways, listen to your husband, accept him, love him, go with what he says. God will step in if he is wrong, you’ll see.
But only if you walk in submission.