Do we always have to do what husband says?
It’s complicated, but not too complicated for a woman.
So hang on and we will talk about the yes/no existence of woman.
First, the Yes Part
Yes, the command to wives is for me to subordinate my will to his. If we disagree, his plan rules the day. If I’m confused, I rely on his decisions. If he is wrong, I submit, anyway, and wait to see if God can’t change his mind or the man mightn’t be right, and I did not see that coming!
Awhile back, we extended our fenced pasture to reach the pond, built a sheltered manger, and got everything ready to buy a calf for raising some beef. Then at the last minute we decided it might not work out and we would be sorry we did it. I couldn’t believe all that went into NOT getting a calf. I was disappointed. I knew natural meat would be great. I thought he was wrong, but I waited. I knew God would set him straight. God is good at that.
I was wrong.
Immediately after that “absurd” set of preparations, we began accumulating drought. We did not mean to—it just came. For the last two years, and now again this year, hardly enough rain has fallen to keep anything alive. It’s been over 100° for months. The pond shrank. The beautiful pasture has conked out each year at mid-summer. The clover we seeded into it has totally given up and does not recur. It would have been a feeding/watering nightmare. Farmers everywhere are selling cattle at a loss. Coyotes are growing bolder.
God. Not my husband.
So I stand corrected, but not really. My predictions for the future were wrong, but my waiting, my not fussing, were what God meant when He said all He said.
The No Part
If you are diligent about saying “yes,” you earn some space for saying “no.” The wife who, when she says “no,” is acting out of character, has earned respect, has earned her husband’s ear. So when I say, “No, I’d really like the car to be white because of the heat we suffer,” he listens.
I so seldom say “no.”
And when I am adamant about something, he really takes note. When something saddens me, he’s panicking, because I try hard, really hard, to be pleasant and agreeable.
Over the 40-some years we’ve been married, I’ve bought his trust.
If I griped about everything that whole time, what would one more gripe mean to him?
I’m not trying to boast, just to give life examples.
On the other hand, every time I was right, God was able to change him and make him see it. But He did not do that through what I said (I was waiting, not talking.) It usually came through giving him sleepless nights, or something, until he figured it out. He’s a quick learner.