The Exceptions to “Yes, Sir!”

English: Cow and calf In cattle pasture > http...

Do we always have to do what husband says?

Yes.

And no.

It’s complicated, but not too complicated for a woman. So hang on and we will talk about the yes/no existence of woman.

First, the Yes Part

Yes, the command to wives is for me to subordinate my will to his. If we disagree, his plan rules the day. If I’m confused, I rely on his decisions. If he is wrong, I submit, anyway, and wait to see if God can’t change his mind or the man mightn’t be right, and I did not see that coming!

Awhile back, we extended our fenced pasture to reach the pond, built a sheltered manger, and got everything ready to buy a calf for raising some beef. Then at the last minute we decided it might not work out and we would be sorry we did it. I couldn’t believe all that went into NOT getting a calf. I was disappointed. I knew natural meat would be great. I thought he was wrong, but I waited. I knew God would set him straight. God is good at that.

I was wrong.

Immediately after that “absurd” set of preparations, we began accumulating drought. We did not mean to—it just came. For the last two years, and now again this year, hardly enough rain has fallen to keep anything alive. It’s been over 100° for months. The pond shrank. The beautiful pasture has conked out each year at mid-summer. The clover we seeded into it has totally given up and does not recur. It would have been a feeding/watering nightmare. Farmers everywhere are selling cattle at a loss. Coyotes are growing bolder.

Who knew?

God. Not my husband.

So I stand corrected, but not really. My predictions for the future were wrong, but my waiting, my not fussing, were what God meant when He said all He said.

The No Part

If you are diligent about saying “yes,” you earn some space for saying “no.” The wife who, when she says “no,” is acting out of character, has earned respect, has earned her husband’s ear. So when I say, “No, I’d really like the car to be white because of the heat we suffer,” he listens.

I so seldom say “no.”

And when I am adamant about something, he really takes note. When something saddens me, he’s panicking, because I try hard, really hard, to be pleasant and agreeable.

Over the 40-some years we’ve been married, I’ve bought his trust.

If I griped about everything that whole time, what would one more gripe mean to him?

I’m not trying to boast, just to give life examples.

On the other hand, every time I was right, God was able to change him and make him see it. But He did not do that through what I said (I was waiting, not talking.) It usually came through giving him sleepless nights, or something, until he figured it out. He’s a quick learner.

More tomorrow.

_____________________

photo credit: Wikipedia

9 thoughts on “The Exceptions to “Yes, Sir!”

  1. Ruth Bailey says:

    You are a wise wife! Many years ago, a friend of mine said to me, “It must be easy to submit to a husband who loves you so much!” Now my uxorious husband is a wonderful man, but I still had much work to do to quell my rebellious heart and learn to submit. So, I would say it is easier to submit to a husband who loves you a lot.

    • katharinetrauger says:

      Wow! What a kind comment and thanks! 🙂
      I think you are right, but I also think most husbands are totally in love when they marry. Something happens after that, though, in many cases. We become disenchanted or something, and the griping begins. 😐

        • katharinetrauger says:

          Lots of things are contagious! I reach out to some people who use horrific language. I try to overlook it because I know they simply do not understand so much. But those words are in my system, now and, hmm. I have had to bite my tongue lately. Amazing.
          And the complaining, that, too. You are so right. Thanks!

  2. C.M.Hardin says:

    We have kind of a long story over here. I’ve had to say no more often than yes for many years. And there was one time I should have said no, and didn’t, that I will regret for the rest of my life. The biggest fights has been conversion (coming up on 7 years, and we’re still looking at another 2 years–long story). I’ve had to fight my own nature and take the whole family along for the ride. But, God has helped my husband to weather it, grow, and learn. Now I can finally say more yes than no and give over to my husband–which is a welcome relief.

    Submit if your husband allows God into his heart, but fight for his conversion like your life depends on it if he doesn’t.

    This Sunday I went out to pray the rosary in front of an abortion clinic with some other parishioners. I told my husband where I was going at six on a Sunday morning and at first he seemed annoyed, but when I got home, he was actually happy. He told me he was proud of me for something that must have been hard for me to do. He also thought it was a good, peaceful way to express opposition/concern for the mothers and infants. God does little miracles every day. And I look forward to the day when He finally lets me say nearly 100% yes to my husband. I know it is coming.

  3. Victoria T. says:

    You are SO right! Having a joyful countenance and happy disposition go a long way in a marriage. One of the many benefits is having your husband listen to you when you have a little advice about a big thing!

    I’ve always known this about a wife’s instruction to submit. But you know, I have struggled to do this in daily life. I mean, it’s easy for me on the big things to submit to him, even if I disagree. But it’s the little life things I find myself not submitting in. I am praying for help in this. Of course, my dear husband doesn’t seem concerned with it, doesn’t think I do it, but I know my heart even if my mouth isn’t talking.

    And really, that’s what submission is all about, right? The heart. Hm. A wife with a sour heart, even if she has plastered on a smile, is not a blessing. But a wife with a happy heart, even if she has a small frown, is a blessing because the man knows the frown will pass, but the heart… ah, that will continue in its way.

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