Fisher people, mother and son.
The classic human male depends upon the female from the moment he is conceived.
Why? It is easy to see: she is the mother and manages his survival. Her hormonally natural tendencies to softness, milk production, multi-tasking, etc., are perfect for this job.
Although many may try, no one else can do sustenance like a mom.
The same cause—hormones—gives the male a natural tendency to rise to any challenge.
Although he may acquiesce due to the requirements of society, the default setting on the male is to achieve supremacy over even his mom. If she is worth her salt, he will fail because she is bigger than he is until he reaches his teens.
That is a long time. In fact, at that time, it is his entire life.
In the whole, classically defined, family, the mom is in authority over all the tiny males puttering around her skirts until one begins to show he would like to take over. Then is time for the dad to show him a huge tree that needs to be split into firewood, or a huge lawn that needs to be mowed, or a huge ANYTHING that is bigger than this boy/man.
Perspiring and drinking a lot of water does wonders for diverting unspent hormones. A boy who is truly hungry regains respect for the cook. Instead of grumbling his way through tooth-brushing, etc., he falls into bed, grateful for the opportunity to rest, and falls into a deep, healing sleep devoid of folly.
And he develops the habit of taking it out on something huge, instead of taking it out on some woman.
But what if things go wrong and the “tree is bent” wrong?
What if momma nags because she thinks dad dysfunctional?
What if Dad IS dysfunctional?
A dad who does not take his sons in hand, forcing them to grow beyond abuse, does lots of harm and shows he probably was raised with no good example. If his dad ignored him in favor of other sons, how is he to know what to do?
His frustration often will manifest against his wife in the small, demeaning things he does to put her down, as he maybe also did to his mom, since his dad probably did, and on it goes and the cycle repeats.
The dad does not teach the boy what he, as a man, is supposed to become.
A woman who takes dad’s job into her own hands just makes it worse, though. She unknowingly irritates like a mosquito whining around the ear of this man-child. With no direction, he either strikes out or stuffs his frustrations deep inside. Either way, he resents, and does not respect, this most important woman.
And she does not teach him that his being is a blessing.
It is her job to teach him what he is: a welcome member of humanity, an asset, someone we need. Instead, in all her trying to be the dad, she demonstrates disapproval.
So. He should be learning to respect women and relax about his self-image. Instead, he learns to ignore or abuse women and be uptight.
So love a little more.
‘Cuz everybody’s broken.
— Nicole Nordiman
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Photo credit: Wikipedia
The Conquering Mom.com 
Has anyone told you lately how intelligent you are? Because you are.
Oh, my!
xx’s and oo’s for you!
We’ll see how smart I am once the men in my life get wind of this. 😀
Yeah well they ARE men.
I canNOT complain! 😉
Where’s the ‘like’ button? 🙂
Thanks for this wonderful reminder.
It is between the post and the comments sections. It does not show up unless you choose to comment, which takes you down here immediately, so it’s easy not to notice it has shown up. Also, it is not styled very bright, just a different shade of skyblue and sort of blends in with all the share buttons.
Thanks for your kind comments. We all need reminders. ❤
Note. Since this comment, I have removed the like buttons: Too many spam “likes” and cannot get any relief. Sorry folks. 🙂
I agree, you do have such insight on things that I don’t usually see these days. Thanks for sharing. Trust you are doing well. Sorry I’ve not been able to comment lately. Been busy with family. Lydia, my 13 yo daughter won overall female in a 5 K run Saturday. So proud of her.
So glad to see you keeping up with the blogging world.
Hugs to you, Friend.
Hello, Karen!
Seems you HAVE been busy! 🙂
I’m so glad for your daughter. Tell her we all say, “Big Congratulations!” 🙂 Also, tell her that Eric Liddel was a martyred missionary to China who was a famous runner. Won an Olympic medal!
And thanks for your encouraging words. 🙂
Good post, and very true. I heard the John Mayer song on the radio, “Daughters” I think it is called. It surprised me, because I only knew the name of the singer to be associated with some rather immature/embarrassing quotes. One memory I have, the end of a visit from my dad as a girl my own daughter’s age now: I heard he was leaving, so I ran back to my room to stuff my toy luggage with important things like teddy bears and books. By the time I reached the sidewalk, he was driving away. As a daughter, I don’t think you ever stop running with the suitcase.
Oh, Friend, so many hurts float around out there, tethered to the heavy hearts of wounded children like circus balloons, identifying those who’ve been through it. My parents were good parents, although I did not think it at the time. I am so sorry yours let you down. It is supposed to be a really bad thing to harm a child. Yet it goes on and on.
But Jesus took them up in His arms and blessed them. He saw your pain, then, and He felt your tears falling. And He holds His arms open to us, even when we’re all grown up and too old for tears. He knows
He wept.
Thanks, Katharine, although I can’t seem to find a place even at church. I tend to feel more at home around the openly broken and walking wounded.
Well, there is another new one you might enjoy visiting:
http://livingingraceland.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/in-the-broken-places/
Thanks for your openness and honesty — that’s where I love to hang out. 🙂
Good reading this poost
Belinda! Your comment escaped my notice while we were fighting off attacks from the c19 thing. I’m so sorry I did not answer until now! However, I am always glad to find someone who “gets it” and I appreciate your comment very much! 🙂 Hope you visit again, soon!